6 09, 2015

Kid’s Change Your Friendships as a Mother

I’ve always thought of myself as someone whose life is largely defined by friendship. I have friends I’ve kept for thirty years. I like to be there for them. I like to spend time with them. For all the years I was single, I depended on my circle of friends for companionship, advice, and emotional […]

6 09, 2015

Dealing with a Child’s Grief


A Child’s Grief

It’s Friday night, seven months after our fire, two months since we’ve moved back into our newly refurbished house. We’ve been luxuriating in being home again, and the transition has been much easier than I imagined. The kids slid right back in without any bumps.
Tonight, it’s my turn to put Justin to […]

6 09, 2015

Teaching Children to be Quiet


Teaching Peace

My partner Karyn is a schoolteacher. Every day, she works in a place where her life is regulated by bells, divided into nonnegotiable blocks of time. She deals with 150 teenagers, and does so admirably. Yet she is a person who craves solitude, stillness, and spontaneity. At the end of her work day, […]

6 09, 2015

The Sabbath and Kids



I’m taking Spring Break off with the kids. It is an incredible gift to be able to slow down and see what each day brings. I get up at six, lay in bed and read for half an hour, then get up and in the quiet of not having to get kids up and […]

6 09, 2015

Helping Kids Adjust to a New School


New School

We’ve decided to move Justin to a new school next fall, for third grade. It’s early in March and we haven’t told him yet. We don’t want him to feel like a lame duck for the rest of the year. He’s happy at school. He has friends and he’s thriving, but we feel […]

6 09, 2015

Enjoying the Little Things in Life

I was talking to my friend Nona a while back about a concept she learned about on a meditation retreat. “Going through life,” she said, “we carry this basket. In it is a pile of rocks. There are big rocks and little rocks. The basket can only hold so many rocks; there’s not room for […]

6 09, 2015

Playing Games with Your Kids

My son Justin is obsessed with taking over the world. Last week, when we were on vacation in Denver, he was introduced to Parker Brother’s game Risk. The object of the game is to conquer the world with your military might. You do this by stockpiling forces, strategically placing your armies, and conquering other countries […]

6 09, 2015

Understanding What’s Going On Beneath the Surface of Your Kids


Point and Grunt

I’ve recently finished a new book, I Thought We’d Never Speak Again, on the subject of reconciliation. Along the way, I’ve had a dozen generous friends and colleagues read drafts of the book and offer their feedback. When I gathered the first round of comments, my friend and former co-author Ellen Bass, […]

6 09, 2015

Dealing with Kids That are Wasteful of Things


Taking Inventory

The day before our fire, I was saying to Joan that I couldn’t stand living with all of our clutter and all of our stuff. I felt inundated with paper and belongings. We never had time to use most of our stuff, to clean it, to tend to it, to even appreciate it. […]

6 09, 2015

What to Do with Your Kids if Your House is on Fire


Fire Story

It’s four in the morning on a Thursday. I’ve fallen asleep in Justin’s bed with the door wide open, too tired to get up and close it. An insistent sound disturbs my sleep and demands that I awaken. Slowly, I begin to distinguish a frantic, clicking sound. The sound of….what? Fingernails? Groggily I […]